Pray, Teach, Learn, Grow

Your Garden: Not Just For You

2011-04-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

Picture this: orange chunks of sweet, juicy cantaloupe; crisp, dew-dropped lettuce; warm, fresh-roasted sweet bell peppers; firm, juice-gushing vine-ripened tomatoes.

Is your mouth watering yet?

It’s gardening season. For years pallets of bagged soil and six-pack starts in store parking lots made me cringe with guilt. Everyone always said that you need to plant a garden. I have never had my own home. I have never had enough space for a garden. To top it all, for a long time I had zero desire to garden.

My positive thoughts on gardening came on gradually until a major life change—becoming a stay-at-home mom—opened up enough home-focused time in my life to give me a chance to embrace gardening. But I don’t think I would have ever had the desire to plant a garden for myself if it were not for years of examples of wonderful gardeners from my past.

First: my parents. We tried to plant a garden every year of my childhood that I could remember. We most often failed. Our soil, climate, yard orientation relative to the sun, and infiltration of gophers just didn’t make for much success. Then we had a dog that ate our green vegetables before we had a chance to let them ripen and harvest them. That didn’t help things either.

More recently, even though the nest is mostly empty, my parents keep plowing ahead with their gardening efforts. Over the years, they’ve acquired citrus trees, which have been their best success, and now my mom’s homegrown lemonade is becoming the envy of summer wedding receptions in the area. My parents, even after decades, are still working and learning to make the best of their home and bit of earth.

But our struggles were not universal to our area. I could list a good handful of ward members whose thumbs were completely green. My wedding reception was held in the fairyland-like yard of one of those ward members. When I was a kid, we used to pick apples for a widow in the ward who didn’t have the energy to can anymore. Although I never pictured myself as a gardener for a long time, the success of these beautiful yards still filled me with an awe that I could not deny.

Finally, there are my in-laws. They are amazing gardeners. They have a huge backyard. They buy fancy seeds from a catalogue. Their produce looks better than what you can buy from the store. They have so much experience that they generally rotate from a fruit garden to a vegetable garden every other year just to keep themselves interested because they are such experts. And they are probably the ones who impacted me the most with regards to gardening. Why? Because they have shared.

A fall hasn’t gone by since I have been part of their family when my in-laws haven’t given us several laden baskets of beans, grapes, squash, berries, tomatoes—you name it. At first I felt bad about these generous gifts. I hadn’t done any of the work, and here I was basking in the riches of their labors. I felt even guiltier when I realized that their generosity was also saving me a lot on my grocery bill. But in time I realized that their garden produced more and to spare. They loved sharing the joy of their harvest, and they had so much that they needed to give a lot of it away.
It was this sense of generosity and bounty that really attracted me to gardening. My in-laws’ home-grown gifts brought me a lot of health and happiness, but I could tell that the health and happiness that the givers felt was many times more than what they gave away to me.

I have heard it said that the greatest joy of wealth is the ability to give it away. I have learned that the same is true with planting a garden. It is wonderful to grow your own produce, but even more joyful to have so much that you can give it away. Even our first tomato plant produced much more than we could dream of consuming. I loved giving tomatoes away to everyone that I loved!

I dragged my feet for years and years about planting a garden. Even now, I don’t own my own home; I live in a small apartment and garden out of a small, homemade garden box. Maybe you only have room for a small pot. Whatever it is, I hope you choose to garden at least to give. I aspire to being a neighbor or in-law who can’t help but give baskets of gorgeous tomatoes away every year. I want to be the older ward member who invites the younger families to pick and can from my fruit trees. I want to garden so I can give; how about you?

Your Garden: Setting Up for Success

2011-04-25T11:19:00.001-07:00

So, you’ve decided to start a garden. Whether that’s in a small pot on your windowsill, a makeshift box on the balcony, a tiny plot in the side yard, or a full-sized gardening-dedicated backyard, here are a few ideas from a gardener who was in your novice little galoshes not too long ago on how to set yourself up for success.

1. Get Advice
Why reinvent the wheel? People have been gardening since the Garden of Eden—why start from scratch? Look around for some good advice—people in your area who are good at gardening, the bestselling books at your local bookstore, or even an internet search on gardening in your area. One of those pros in your ward might even be willing to come take a look at your gardening space and give you some helpful suggestions and tips. Anyone who loves gardening would love to help you get started!

For myself, my mom and sister recommended the Square Foot Gardening method by Mel Bartholomew. Having a handy guide that was geared for beginners was extremely helpful to me in getting started. Plus, I originally borrowed the book from my mom for the first year until I decided I wanted my own copy. You could probably do the same and borrow a book from someone you know loves to garden as well.

2. Start Small
You don’t need to plan on eliminating your produce grocery budget in your first year of gardening. Make sure that you feel like baby steps are okay. When my husband and I decided to build a garden box outside of our apartment, at first I thought we should use three times the space that we finally settled on. I changed my mind when I realized that it would be okay to add a second box later on. It was really helpful to start small and learn how to maintain a small area before adding more space.

3. Start Easy
Some of the advice you’ll want to ask for from the gardeners you know is what is easy to grow in your area. Gardening books will tell you a list of crops that are easy to grow almost anywhere, such as zucchini or tomatoes. Although we all laugh about providing zucchini for the whole neighborhood from one plant, easy-to-grow crops will give you a lot of encouragement and sense of success. Why not set yourself up for that?

4. Get a Head Start
I decided to plant my first garden late in the year and didn’t get it all planted until the very end of June. Because of this, one of my mentors suggested that I use plant starts instead of seeds. That was incredibly wonderful advice.

By that time of year, all the plant starts were on clearance, and I bought whatever was left for really cheap. I don’t think waiting that long to get started is worth it unless you have to, but it was really nice to have an “instant garden.” If this is your first time gardening, consider buying mostly started plants instead of seeds to help set yourself up for success and give your garden a little head start. You can take on the challenge of seedlings when you have a little more experience under your belt.

5. Learn and Grow
Some of those starts I bought for my first garden were cabbage, which I learned my family didn’t like to eat and I should never grow it again. I also planted onion seeds late enough in the season that the onions did not have time to develop all the way before the fall frost. Despite these setbacks, my zucchini, tomatoes, and carrots were sterling successes.

Be willing to learn and grow with your garden. Don’t expect everything to turn out perfectly, but be all the more grateful for your successes. Live and learn and grow.

The Church teaches that “planting a garden, even a small one, allows for a greater degree of self-reliance” (“Growing a Garden,” http://providentliving.org/content/display/0,11666,6637-1-3427-1,00.html). Make the decision to feel the blessings of earth, soil, and sunshine by setting yourself up for success.

Your Garden: 5 Reasons to Get Started

2011-04-23T09:45:00.001-07:00

“There is a great work for the Saints to do. Progress and improve upon and make beautiful everything around you. Cultivate the earth, and cultivate your minds. . . . Make gardens, orchards, and vineyards, and render the earth so pleasant that when you look upon your labors you may do so with pleasure, and that angels may delight to come and visit your beautiful locations.”
- Brigham Young, Deseret News, Aug. 8, 1860, 177.

I am a gardener, and I never thought I’d say that.

In the past, gardening was always something I associated with the mature folk, with retirement and stiff knees, with everybody but me—with people who had extra time on their hands. But then, all of the sudden, I found myself wanting to garden last summer. I was a new mom and despite the demands of an infant, I knew that changing to be a stay-at-home mom suddenly opened up enough time in my life to garden. Even more surprising than that, I actually wanted to do it. And I didn’t even want to do it for provident living, self-reliance, or any other commandment—just for the joy of it.

I’ve thought about whether my intrinsic gardening desires are manifestations of a heritage from generations of agrarian ancestors across the centuries, but I think that it’s more likely that wanting to plant, cultivate, nurture, and harvest is an endowment from my heavenly ancestry. Elder Uchtdorf has said, “The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul. . . . Your very spirits are fashioned by an endlessly creative and eternally compassionate God” (“Happiness, Your Heritage,” October 2008 General Conference). I have found that, as Elder Uchtdorf said, “Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment” in gardening.
This year I planned my little garden and bought seeds in February because I was so excited about it. I started growing plants from seed indoors in March, and I’m growing twice as much as I’m going to plant so I can give my extra starts away to friends who might need help starting their garden.

I am so excited about this joy that I’ve found. I feel like people in my life talked about the joy of gardening to me for years and I never listened, but now I want to share it with everyone. If gardening doesn’t seem like your thing; if you never, ever picture yourself in galoshes, gloves, and a straw hat; if you can’t bear to get your hands dirty and don’t care about where your vegetables come from, I still encourage you to give gardening a try—this year.

Maybe you have a backyard to fill, maybe, like me, you only have a tiny plot of earth to work with, or maybe you only have one little pot of basil. Whatever your situation, give it a try and share in the joy of the miracle of creation. These are the top five reasons I think you should.

1. Get Outside
Gardening got me outside last summer. As a new mother, I needed the fresh air, the sunshine, and the green grass to help me cope with all the changes I needed to handle in my life. We all have changes and challenges going in our lives, and whose trials can’t be helped with a little sunshine and fresh air? The world is for our enjoyment and is so full of beauty. Gardening might be just the thing to get you out there and enjoying it.

2. Be Grateful
I have an aunt who gardens with her middle school class. She reports that there have been students in her class who honestly didn’t know where produce from the grocery store came from—that it originated in the ground or on a bush, tree, or vine. That’s not how I want my children to be raised, but who is going to teach them unless I do by gardening?

Doing the work yourself can help you appreciate food and farmers, technology and agriculture, but above all gardening has taught me what a miracle life and growing and the whole world are—all as a gift from God. Yes, I did make a garden box, filled it with dirt, planted seeds, weeded and watered, but in the end I still can’t believe that a dozen carrots appeared in the ground. It was such a miracle. I can’t wait to watch it happen again.

3. Feel Pretty
The only flowers we planted last year were marigolds to help keep the bad bugs away. Marigolds: bright and smelly. The bees loved them, though, and that flattered me enough to make me love the bees.
No matter what you plant—flowers, vegetables, trees, shrubs, grass, whatever—gardens are beautiful. I felt happy every time I saw my pretty little 7’x2’ garden. The world always needs more beauty: Plant a garden.

4. Enjoy the Fruits
Oh, the vegetables of my labors. My father-in-law always says, “Now this is a tomato!” at least a zillion times every summer after they pull in their massive tomato crop. I never really believed him until I ate my own home-grown carrots. My life will never be the same. Plant a garden and enjoy the fruits of your labors!

5. Unify Your Family
The Home and Family Relations manual says, “Families who work together in a home garden build family unity because they share a common purpose.” Even though my family consists of me, my husband, and my baby, I found this to be true. I love letting my baby play alongside my garden. It makes me feel like he’s helping even though he’s too small because I know that one day he will help. Even though my husband works all day and doesn’t have much time for the garden, calling it “our garden” means that I tell him all about its progress and point out all the growth to him, even if he only has time to help out on an occasional Saturday. President Kimball said, “There is so much to . . . harvest from your garden, far more than just a crop itself!” (Ensign, May 1978, 79). I have found this to be true even in my little family.

I am a gardener of exactly seven cubic feet of earth, plus a few random flower pots. I wouldn’t call my thumb exactly green, but I guess that gives me something to aspire to when I’m mature, retired, and have too much time on my hands (which we know will probably never happen).

The Lord has said, “All things which come of the earth . . . are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart” (D&C 59:18). I have tasted of that joy; I have had my heart filled with gladness from my garden. I hope you can experience it too.

This Easter Morn: Celebration Ideas

2011-04-05T10:30:00.001-07:00

President Hinckley once said: “What a glorious day is Easter! This is the day when we, with Christian people everywhere, celebrate the most significant event in human history—the resurrection from the grave, the return to life from death, of the Son of God” (“The Victory Over Death,” April 1985 General Conference). I have often wondered how I can make my Easter celebration more meaningful. Sometimes when March or April and the Easter season roll around, it’s been months since the fuss of Christmas but I still am not ready for another big holiday.

In some ways because Easter is a little less commercialized than Christmas and less seeped with traditions, it can be an opportunity to have a more quiet and devout celebration of what President Hinckley called “the most significant event in human history.” In celebrating Christmas, we celebrate the Savior’s coming to the world, but in celebrating Easter we celebrate his resurrection and victory over death and the completion of the atonement—the fulfillment of the mission that He came to earth to do.

Just as each December we strive to keep Christ in Christmas, here are a few ideas about how, during this Easter season, to keep “our thoughts turn[ed] to Him who atoned for our sins, who showed us the way to live, how to pray, and who demonstrated by His own actions how we might do so. Born in a stable, cradled in a manger, the Son of God beckons to each of us to follow Him” (President Thomas S. Monson, “I Know That My Redeemer Lives!,” April 2007 General Conference).

1. Study the Scriptures about Easter
Many families have an advent reading schedule for Christmas or at least read about the Savior’s birth on Christmas Eve. Consider making a tradition of scripture reading for Easter. You could even follow the last week of the Savior’s life. Here is a list of applicable scriptures to get you started:

- Matthew 27:57–66; 28:1–20;
- Mark 15:16–20, 40–47; 16:1–20;
- Luke 22:44; 23:44–46, 50–56; 24:1–53;
- John 6:51; 10:17; 19:38–42; 20:1–18; 21:1–25;
- Romans 6:9
- 1 Peter 2:21
- 1 Nephi 11:33
- 2 Nephi 2:7
- Mosiah 26:23
- Alma 11:42
- 3 Nephi 8:5–7, 17–18, 20–22;
- Mormon 7:5

Personalize your Easter scripture reading for you and your family. Another idea would be to read the entire Gospels and/or 3 Nephi in the weeks leading up to Easter .

2. Keep Your Easter Sunday Holy
Consider moving your hunts and basket giving to Saturday so that you can have a Christ-focused Easter Sabbath. You can have time for eggs, bunnies, and candy on Saturday and focus on the real reason for Easter on Sunday.

3. Celebrate with Easter Hymns
We don’t have as many Easter hymns as Christmas hymns, but we have several on pages 197-200 of the hymnbook. There are also Easter songs in the Children’s Songbook on pages 64-70. You may want to sing and/or learn these songs during family home evenings leading up to Easter or even carol them on Easter day.

4. Read the Church Magazines
The Church magazines generally have special issues focused on the Savior during the month of Easter. That means more Christ-focused stories and activities for children, teens, and adults, if you receive all three magazines. I always love the Christmas stories in the December Church magazines; the April magazines are likewise focused on gratitude for the Savior’s life.

5. Enjoy a Church Video about the Life of Christ
We watch Christmas movies; try enjoying Finding Faith in Christ, The Lamb of God, or another Church film this Easter season. Special Witnesses of Christ would be another great choice as the apostles testify of Jesus Christ.

6. Watch or Review Easter Sessions of General Conference
In 2010 Easter fell on the Sunday Sessions of General Conference, but in 2011 Easter will not occur until three weeks after General Conference. The coincidence of Easter falling on General Conference brings a special spirit to General Conference. You could look back at past years and read or listen to talks from these special sessions.

There are other special Easter Sundays in the history of the Restored Church. In 1980, Easter Sunday fell on April 6, which was also the weekend of General Conference. President Hinckley gave a special talk on that day commemorating these three events, entitled “What Hath God Wrought through His Servant Joseph!” You may also remember that the Priesthood was restored on Easter in 1836 when Elijah returned and appeared to Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery in the Kirtland temple. The Ensign ran a handful of articles by Dr. John P.Pratt about the symbolism of these events several years ago. If you want to learn more about these events, be sure to take a look at these articles:

• “The Restoration of Priesthood Keys on Easter 1836, Part 1: Dating the First Easter,” Ensign, June 1985.
• “The Restoration of Priesthood Keys on Easter 1836, Part 2: Symbolism of Passover and of Elijah’s Return,” Ensign, July 1985.
• “Passover—Was It Symbolic of His Coming?” Ensign, January 1994.

7. Ponder and Share Your Testimony of Jesus Christ
Easter is a great time to contemplate your own testimony of Jesus Christ. Accept the challenge to rekindle and bear your testimony of the Savior during this season. Share your testimony in sacrament meeting, family home evening, or even your personal journal.

I hope that these ideas are just the start of focusing your Easter celebrations on Jesus Christ this year. President Uchtdorf has said: “It is fitting that during the week from Palm Sunday to Easter morning we turn our thoughts to Jesus Christ, the source of light, life, and love. . . . He gave us His gospel, a pearl beyond price. . . . The gospel is the good news of Christ. . . . The gospel is the way of discipleship. As we walk in that way, we can experience confidence and joy” (“The Way of the Disciple,” April 2009 General Conference).

When Quality Matters

2011-03-01T13:53:00.001-08:00

I'm all about saving money, but sometimes cheap is cheap. This is cheap:

It smells like Nexxus, but it does not work like Nexxus. I don't know what salon "proved" it. Over time (a little over three months) the health of my hair has been completely deteriorating. At first I thought that I just needed a trim, but when I still didn't like wearing my hair down anymore, I knew this was a problem.

Enter this:

This isn't necessarily a Pantene ad. I chose Pantene because it was on sale at Costco. I'm happy to choose any shampoo from Costco because Costco always has quality products. But I am never trying a cheap or generic brand of shampoo and conditioner ever again.

It's only been a few days, but my hair already feels smoother, less frizzy and tangled, shinier, and much more moisturized. Goodbye cheap. Hello hair health. Welcome back. I'm so happy you're here.

Next up in ditching cheap for quality in my life . . . moving from this:

To this:

I can't wait.

You Home Teach My Son? by Brian Ricks

2011-02-25T11:38:00.000-08:00

“Home teaching is not just another program. It is the priesthood way of watching over the Saints and accomplishing the mission of the Church. Home teaching is not just an assignment. It is a sacred calling. Home teaching is not to be undertaken casually. A home teaching call is to be accepted as if extended to you personally by the Lord Jesus Christ. . . . There is no greater Church calling than that of a home teacher. There is no greater Church service rendered to our Father in Heaven’s children than the service rendered by a humble, dedicated, committed home teacher."
- President Ezra Taft Benson, “To the Home Teachers of the Church,” Ensign, May 1987, 48.

Shortly after my mission I moved into a single student ward near the university I was attending. I was enthusiastic about making a contribution to our ward and I determined to report perfect home teach every month—no matter what. When I was assigned to home teach an inactive member, I wasn’t disheartened in the least. I was sure I could visit anyone once a month.

Despite my confidence, things got off to a rocky start. I didn’t have his phone number and his roommates said they hardly ever saw him. Most months I didn’t see him either. Occasionally, I could report that I’d said hello as he jogged passed me on the way to his car, but most months I could only report failure.

I grew discouraged and a little cynical. My goal of reporting one hundred percent of my home teaching assignments had failed. I found myself less willing to drop by this brother’s apartment and I started hoping I would get a new home teaching assignment so I could get back to my one hundred percent goal.

One month I felt particularly frustrated with my unachieved goals and decided to try a new way of contacting him. I knew his father, an active member of the Church, taught at the university I attended. With a little trepidation, I walked into the father’s office in hopes of getting some new contact information for his son. After explaining why I was there, the professor did something I had never expected—he started to tear up.

“You home teach my son?” he asked with emotion, “Thank you so much. We’re really worried about him. Please do everything you can to help him.”

I left his office with no new contact information but with a new understanding of what it meant to be a good home teacher. My home teaching assignment wasn’t about statistics; it was about the important worth of a soul—a person with parents and family who cared deeply about him.

It wasn’t much later my home teaching assignment changed because the brother I was assigned to moved several hundred miles away. With my new assignment, I was finally able to report consistent perfect home teaching statistics again, but reporting one hundred percent didn’t bring the satisfaction I had expected; I wanted to be more interested in the lives of those I visited rather than just caring about numbers.

It’s been years since that event, but whenever I feel my home teaching is getting routine or all about statistics, I remember the tears in that father’s eyes pleading with me to help his son. If I were to talk to Heavenly Father about my home teaching assignments, I’m pretty sure he would encourage me with the same emotion as that professor: “You home teach my son? Thank you so much. I’m really worried about him. Please do everything you can to help him.”

President Benson’s Three Fundamentals to Effective Home Teaching

Take a moment to evaluate your calling as a home teacher using the points below. For the women of the Church, think about how you are doing with supporting home teaching in your family and ward.

1. Know well those you are to home teach.
     - Really know them! You can’t serve well those you don’t know well.
     - Become personally acquainted with every child, youth, and adult in the family and know their names.
     - Be aware of their birthdays, blessings, baptisms, marriages, attitudes, activities, interests, problems, employment, health, happiness, plans, purposes, needs, and circumstances.
     - Be close to the father. Know his righteous desires for his family and help him to realize them.
     - Be a genuine friend: care, love, listen, and reach out.

2. Know well the message you are to deliver in each home.
     - Have a purpose or goal in mind and plan each visit to help meet that purpose. Pray and plan with your companion before the visit.
     - Read the scriptures with the families you home teach, especially the Book of Mormon.
     - Carry the right message, and then teach with the Spirit.
     - Prayer should be a part of every home teaching visit.

3. Truly magnify your calling as a home teacher.
     - Do not settle for mediocrity. Be excellent in every facet of the work. Be a real shepherd of your flock.
     - Both the quality and quantity of home teaching are essential.
     - Make your home teaching visit early in the month, allowing time for follow-up contacts.
     - Make a definite appointment for each visit. Respect your families’ time.
     - Train Aaronic priesthood companions well.
     - Keep faithful track of each member you are called to home teach.

“God bless the home teachers of this Church. You are the front line of defense to watch over and strengthen the individual and family unit. Understand the sacredness of your calling and the divine nature of your responsibility. . . . As you do this, I promise you the blessings of heaven and the indescribable joy that comes from helping to touch hearts, change lives, and save souls.”
             - President Benson

Images copyrighted by Microsoft Corporation.

Confession:

2011-01-24T12:22:00.000-08:00

I finally took down the collage of 2010 Christmas cards from my wall. It's still be less than a month since Christmas--right? And can you believe it?

Done Now, Done Right

2010-12-08T14:22:00.000-08:00

President Kimball once said, “One of the most serious human defects in all ages is procrastination” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [1982], 48). Procrastination robs us of effective and meaningful time as well as of peace of mind and confidence. Sometimes we spend all our energy putting off tasks—large or small—that we grow to loathe them and sink into a spiral of guilt and cowardice. Elder Marvin J. Ashton has called procrastination “unproductive delay” and encouraged us to instead do things “straightway . . . immediately, without delay or hesitation” (Marvin J. Ashton, “Straightway,” Ensign, May 1983, 30).

Over the past year I have made a significant career change from a full-time office professional to an overtime wife, mother, and homemaker. As all mothers know, this challenging shift in my daily work was pretty daunting at first. Instead of having a focused routine driven by deadlines in the workplace, I became the one-woman manager and entire team of our home life in charge of all the decisions. Okay, my husband helps a lot at home, but during the day, when he’s gone, it’s up to me. This change from relying on and performing for other people to needing to rely solely on myself for motivation has been significant.

Over time, I have discovered that many of the skills that helped keep me motivated in the workplace can help me not procrastinate my responsibilities at home, especially these five: (1) Prioritize, (2) Be early, (3) Amplify your strengths, (4) Set honest goals and give honest praise, and (5) Reward yourself. While at this time in my life I’m focused on improving my homemaking and mothering skills and not procrastinating those duties, these five principles should help you in whatever responsibilities you need help with in your life—work, school, family, church service, etc.

1. Prioritize

I am a list person. I have lists on my refrigerator, my shopping list, my planner, and all over the house. During busy times at work, my desk sometimes turned into a forest of Post-It notes as I tried to keep things from slipping through the cracks.

Lists are helpful, but they can also be daunting unless you know how to prioritize. If you have a lot of “To-Dos” on your mind, it might be time for what one of my co-workers called “a meeting with yourself” to get things in order. What things should you do today, this week, this month, or when you have more time?
Now that I’m at home, it is easy to make the wrong prioritizing choices by thinking that things like scripture study and prayer can be pushed aside for pressing appointments and chores; I have to constantly remind myself what is most important, especially at times when there are so many things that need my time and attention. Properly prioritizing can help you avoid procrastination because giving the most important things your first attention makes subsequent tasks run more smoothly.

2. Be Early

Being early isn’t just about getting to a meeting on time. At work it meant getting a report finished a few days before a deadline or answering an email before it became urgent. Now being early means mixing up the cornbread dry ingredients in the early afternoon so there is less to do right before dinner or balancing the budget frequently so that it never piles very high. Choosing to put time into something that you know you will have to do eventually before it is a stress is one of my key defenses against procrastination. Try it and see: What can you do today so you don’t have to worry about it tomorrow?

3. Amplify Your Strengths

Although it is important to do the most important tasks first, sometimes a group of tasks are equally important. At these times, it is okay to do what you like best first: Search for a strength to help you overcome your weakness. For example, maybe you have a list of people to get in touch with. Would you rather phone, email, text, or something else? As long as the methods are equally effective, choose the one you are good at and like. This will help you deter procrastination. At home, I love having a clean house but there are some chores I don’t really like doing. To play up my strengths, I remind myself how much I love the clean in order to motivate myself to do the work to make my home that way.

4. Set Honest Goals, Give Honest Praise

No one wins when you overwork yourself or set expectations that are honestly beyond your abilities. When I first became a full-time homemaker, I thought the best thing would be to have a one-day housecleaning wonder once a week—one day when I would make the house spotless so I would only have to deep clean once a week. Honestly, I don’t have time to commit to only housecleaning for a whole day on the same day every week. Instead, I try to make sure I clean everything at least once a week, which I can honestly do, but it’s okay that it means vacuuming one day, cleaning sinks another, and sweeping on another, all on different days each week. Assessing your work honestly means telling yourself you are doing a good job even if you are not reaching what you think is “ideal.” If I can clean half the house all on one day, I rant about it to my husband the whole evening because I know that I did an amazing job.

5. Reward Yourself

Rewards are a step beyond praise. Be sure to treat yourself with something special when you do something great. Rewards can be a great motivator. Now, keep it moderate (not too much chocolate!), but I have heard of an English teacher who stuck M&Ms randomly in the stack of papers she had to grade to keep herself fresh and motivated while working. Sometimes it’s helpful to motivate yourself with “fun jobs.” For example, as soon as you complete the report at work that you’re not excited about, you can check your email. At home, we all have chores that we like okay and that we hate; maybe do the one you hate first and then reward yourself with doing something productive that you like.

When called by the Savior to follow him, the disciples “straightway left their nets” and “immediately left the ship” in order to answer his call. They recognized that following the Savior was their highest priority. We can seek His help in learning how to be most effective in fulfilling our responsibilities in our families, homes, wards, careers, and other worthy life pursuits. Elder Ashton has said, “One of our greatest resources for success and happiness is doing the right thing now.” By prioritizing, being early, using our strengths, setting goals, and giving ourselves rewards, we can overcome procrastination and enjoy that happiness of “doing the right thing now.”

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A Circle of Christmas Service

2010-12-08T14:12:00.000-08:00

As the Christmas season began in 2008, I was struck by the instruction President Monson gave in that year’s Christmas devotional. He spoke of Christmas memories of the past and making new memories that year, but the stories he shared and the experiences he highlighted focused on service rather than giving or receiving gifts.

As I thought back on my Christmases past, only gifts that came during my childhood came to mind—like the Christmas my parents gave us our family dog, the Christmas when we received a new TV, and the Christmas when the giant present in a large garbage bag, neatly tied with a giant bow, turned out to be what I thought was an uneventful new set of family bath towels. Although these memories were pleasant and humorous, I couldn’t think of any meaningful Christmas memory that focused on service, as President Monson had talked about, instead of gifts.

President Monson’s talk about Christmas service was still on my mind when I went visiting teaching that month, so I decided to incorporate what the prophet had taught in the Christmas devotional as part of my visiting teaching message. I told the other sisters about my problem—that my Christmas memories were focused on gifts instead of service—and asked what we could do to strive to focus on service more than gifts in future Christmas seasons.

My visiting teaching sisters all had wonderful ideas and shared memories that matched what President Monson had taught. Their stories, however, were more familiar to me than I had anticipated. As they shared special Christmas service experiences, I realized that my problem was not that I had never done Christmas service but that the gift memories came to mind before the service memories. When my visiting teaching sisters shared their Christmas service experiences, I was finally reminded of my own.

One sister’s memory was especially significant to me. She told of a Christmas when her family was struggling financially because her father was unemployed at the time. She tenderly told of loving neighbors, friends, and community members who came to her family’s aid that year by providing food, decorations, and gifts for Christmas.

This sister’s story reminded me of a service project we did as a ward mutual group when I was a youth. We used part of the ward auxiliary budget funds and donations from ward members to provide Christmas for families in need. On a mutual night, each class or quorum was assigned a member of a family in need to purchase gifts for or a special Christmas item, like the tree, decorations, or Christmas dinner. After an hour or so of shopping, we all met back together to deliver Christmas to the needy families. I can still remember our Young Men’s leaders carrying a Christmas tree into a home. Even though I didn’t know the families we were serving, this service project was a very special experience.

It was not my visiting teaching sister’s family that our ward had served, as she lived in a different area at the time, but connecting my nearly forgotten service experience with the Christmas that she remembered best made that Christmas service project much more meaningful to me.

My visiting teacher’s story brought that service experience from a mutual activity years ago back in a full circle. Learning that my visiting teaching sister had been served in the same way that our ward had served someone else made that service experience much more personal to me, even years later. One small and simple, and nearly forgettable, act of service to me was a great and memorable thing to someone else.

This sister’s story was only the beginning. Once I got started, the memories of Christmas service from my childhood came flooding back. There was the family that came caroling to our house with a plate of cookies every Christmas Eve. I remember my mother baking loaves of nut bread and sending us off with our red wagon to deliver them to the neighbors. I thought of doorbell ditching the Twelve Days of Christmas to families in our ward that my parents thought could need a little extra love. All these memories were there in my past all the time, gifts of experience to propel me into making service a part of my Christmases now.

So how do we live and teach that giving Christmas service is more important than the gifts we receive? We keep remembering by doing, each year, over and over again, at this time when we celebrate His birth, what the Savior would do and “Love one another; as I have loved you” (John 13:34). Each experience of service that we embrace affects the people we serve and the people that we serve with altogether to make this special season a gift of service.

Images copyrighted by Microsoft Corporation. Available in Microsoft Word Clip Art Galleries.

Things I Learned From Making My First Thanksgiving Meal

2010-12-02T13:48:00.000-08:00

1. Brining a fresh turkey is the way to go. There was not a dry slice on our bird!

2. I cannot get enough of homemade whole berry cranberry sauce.

3. Light egg nog is not worth the lack of calories.

4. Fat free whipped topping that you add melted chocolate to for a chocolate cream pie is.

5. College kids sleep a lot! I guess it's been a while since I was one and I forgot!

6. I'd rather eat stuffing and gravy than mashed potatoes and gravy--especially stuffing cooking in our amazing brined bird and gravy made from those delicious drippings.

7. Cranberry cheesecake is my new love.

8. Making the rolls early and reheating them would be better than stressing about them being the last thing out of the oven when the guests have already arrived.

How to Survive Gestational Diabetes

2010-09-01T11:40:00.000-07:00

I failed my three-hour glucose tolerance test miserably from the start. Frustration and guilt overwhelmed me. Had I eaten too much Halloween candy? Why was this happening to me? I was healthy—I loved vegetables and I didn’t stop jogging until I was four months along in my pregnancy. What else could I do to take care of myself when I was doing my best already? How would I survive the holidays, let alone my third trimester, without my favorite desserts?

Laughably, I think I passed through all the stages of grief after being diagnosed with gestational diabetes: depression, guilt, anger, tolerance, and, finally, acceptance. To be treated for gestational diabetes, I was put on a strict low-carbohydrate diabetic diet. My doctors monitored me closely to make sure that I was getting enough to eat to grow a baby but not getting too many carbohydrates that would raise my blood sugar too high. Going on the diabetic diet was difficult but doable. Some women also have to take medication and/or insulin to get their gestational diabetes under control.

The end of the story is that I survived and had (and have) a healthy baby. Although any sort of complications during pregnancy are scary, gestational diabetes is not the end of the world. You can make it! Whether you or a family member or friend has been diagnosed with gestational diabetes, here are my ten snippets of advice on how to survive and how to help.

1. It is Not Your Fault, and You Are Not Alone
Gestational diabetes has developed in your body because of the way that your body reacts to hormones during pregnancy, not because you’ve done something wrong. Although 2-4% is small percentage of pregnant women, but that means that there are probably a handful of women who have had gestational diabetes in your ward. Start asking around for comfort, advice, and support. Any woman who has gone through this would love to help and will be full of ideas.

2. There are Perks
If you follow the diabetic diet, you won’t gain very much extra weight in your pregnancy and you’re likely to be back down to your pre-pregnancy weight in a jiffy. If the perks don’t motivate you enough, just remember that following the diabetic diet will decrease your chances of needing a c-section and/or birthing a large baby. Of course, doing what is best for your baby is your prime motivation as well.

3. Give Up the Baked Goods
It’s pretty rough to find ways to substitute both flour and sugar, the two demons of carbohydrates in baked goods. Feel free to experiment as much as you want with Splenda and almond flour, but don’t let yourself get too frustrated. Do the best you can at home, and just accept the fact that store-bought baked goods are probably out of your diet for a few months.

4. Say Yes to Protein
Keep high-protein snacks ready-to-eat in the fridge to fill in between meals and snacks. Some good ideas are sliced cheese (buy a bunch of different kinds to keep yourself excited about it) and eggs (hard-boiled, deviled, omelets). Nuts are another good high-protein filler.

5. Creativity is the Key
Embrace your low-carb menu like it’s a game. How many different types of vegetables can you eat with dip instead of bread? What can you eat in a lettuce wrap instead of as a sandwich? How can you eat the most with the fewest amount of carbs?

6. Eating Out is Out
It’s easier to control your diet when you make your own food and difficult to find low-carb options at restaurants. If you do want to eat out, try to find nutrition facts online for the restaurant (although in my experience this usually means my option is the house salad).

7. Watch That Diet Label
“Low carb” and “diet” labels can be misleading. Be sure to read the nutrition facts for yourself to make sure you’re choosing the best option. Sometimes foods that are labeled diet are better than the ones marked low carb. Sometimes foods that don’t have either label are the best choice.

8. Communicate With Those You Love (and Those Who Feed You)
Being pregnant and diabetic during the holidays seemed like complete torture at first glance, but communicating with your friends, family, and whoever else you will be eating with can really ease the pain of not eating what you want. Be upfront: let people know that you really wouldn’t appreciate a plate of holiday cookies this year. I asked my mom to please not serve my favorite dessert so I wouldn’t feel tortured. At events, work with the hostess to make sure that there are enough low-carb options that you can still feel festive.

9. Countdown to Freedom
Most likely this is only temporary and you won’t be diabetic anymore after you give birth. Keep yourself motivated by remembering you only have a few weeks longer and thank goodness you don’t have to do this for the rest of your life.

10. Be Aware
Your baby is likely to have low blood sugar after the birth, so be on the lookout to make sure that your baby has the stamina to eat enough during those first few days. Watch closely for signs of dehydration: not enough wet diapers, sunken or ridged head, dry or cracked lips, lethargy, weight loss, unhealthy skin coloring.

Gestational diabetes really helped me count my blessings and appreciate the fact that in general my health is good. I feel a lot more sympathy, respect, and sensitivity for people who have strict diet restrictions from allergies or chronic illness. I also feel very motivated to do what I can to prevent type-2 diabetes in my family by eating healthy and being active. Above all, I’m grateful for modern medicine and doctors that knew how to keep me and my baby safe, because, honestly, a hundred years ago I probably would have died in childbirth. With that in mind, I think I can give up pie any Christmas and still smile about it.

$10.87

2010-07-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

Thank you Smith's and coupons.com! Today this cost me $10.87--a savings of $13.24 (56%) for:
12 Yoplait 6 oz yogurts
2 Yoplait 30 oz yogurts
2 Yoplait Greek yogurts
2 Pillsbury Grands biscuits
2 Pillsbury crescent rolls
1 loaf French bread (okay this wasn't on sale/couponed, but I needed to buy it anyway and it was on the same bill)

My $1.50 Meal

2010-07-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

I've been trying really hard to shop smart by using coupons and shopping sales, and all my hard work has definitely been paying off! The biggest indicator of success is that since we've had a baby we've only had to increase our grocery budget by $5 a week, and daipers probably cost at least $8 a week. Granted he's not on solid food yet, but it's still impressive that out budget hasn't had to increase that much since I've had the time and spent the energy to be really smart about what we spend.

Here's an example. Last week I shopped some sales and made a complete dinner for two for about $1.50. Don't believe me? Here's the math:

3 chicken drumsticks @ .68/lb = $0.84

2 ears of corn @ .10/ea = $0.20

1/2 bag steak fries @ $0.79/bag = $0.39

TOTAL = $1.43

I couldn't believe it myself, and it was a delicious meal! I guess you could throw in a few cents for a glass of milk each and some BBQ sauce, but this is still some fantastic savings. Sometimes doing the math is helpful to remind me that it pays to take the time and do the work to shop smart.

Celebrate August!

2010-07-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

“There is no month in the whole year in which nature wears a more beautiful appearance than in the month of August. . . . It comes when we remember nothing but clear skies, green fields, and sweet-smelling flowers-- . . . what a pleasant time it is! Orchards and cornfields ring with the hum of labour; trees bend beneath the thick clusters of rich fruit which bow their branches to the ground; . . . A mellow softness appears to hang over the whole earth.”

- Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers, Oxford: University Press, 1997, 208.

August is the last full month of the summer. Do you love it as much as Charles Dickens? Without any big holidays in August, sometimes it feels a little monotonous. Here’s a list of lesser-known holidays in August that might just be the pick-me-up you need this month. Maybe you need some fun ideas to help you survive the heat. Maybe you need some activities to keep your kids interested this month before school starts. Maybe you and your spouse or friends need some days of fun. Check out the following ideas and start celebrating August!

Monday, August 2 – National Ice Cream Sandwich Day
Buy and eat ice cream sandwiches, or make your own by layering ice cream between two homemade cookies.

Tuesday, August 3 – National Watermelon Day
Enjoy a watermelon today. Cut it in slices, or use a melon baller to make a fancy salad. Have a seed-spitting contest in the backyard.

Wednesday, August 4 – National Chocolate Chip Day
Make and enjoy a treat with chocolate chips.

Thursday, August 5 – National Waffle Day
Have traditional waffles for breakfast, then make waffle sandwiches for lunch by making grilled cheese using the waffle iron.

Friday, August 6 – Wiggle Your Toes Day
Paint your toenails, then paint a picture holding a brush with your toes.

Saturday, August 7 – National Mustard Day
Make homemade pretzels to dip in mustard, or enjoy other mustard-friendly meals like corndogs, hotdogs, or hamburgers.

August 9-14 – National Apple Week
Make and eat as many apple dishes as you can think of, such as sliced apples, applesauce, apple crisp, apple pie, apple butter, baked apples, or apple dumplings. Read books about Johnny Appleseed. Slice apples from the bottom to the stem to reveal the star inside. Have an apple sampling session by buying one of each type of apple at the store and taste-testing them as a family.

Monday, August 9 – National Rice Pudding Day
Make and eat rice pudding. Make it an all-out rice day by making fried rice and rice cakes too.

Tuesday, August 10 – S’Mores Day
Make s’mores any way you can—over the fire pit, a candle, or in the microwave.

Wednesday, August 11 – Play in the Sand Day
Find somewhere to play in the sand, such as the beach, a lake shore, a playground sand pit, or a sand volleyball court.

Friday, August 13 – International Left-Handers Day
Have fun trying to do things left-handed today (and lefties in your family get it easy today!).

Saturday, August 14 – National Creamsicle Day
Enjoy creamsicles today. Sample different flavors, such as orange, raspberry, and lime.

August 16-21 – American Dance Week
Set a time every afternoon when the family gets together for a dance party. Play different types of music and mimic different types of dancing each day.

Monday, August 16 – Roller Coaster Day
Make your own miniature roller coaster by taping together toilet paper and paper towel rolls and sending marbles through them.

Tuesday, August 17 – Davy Crockett’s Birthday
Celebrate the day that Davy Crockett was born in 1786 by reading books about Davy Crockett.

Wednesday, August 18 – Bad Poetry Day
Write bad (or good) poetry on post-it notes and place them around the house. Give each family member a different color of notes and see who can write the most poems.

Thursday, August 19 – National Aviation Day
Take a picnic to an aviation museum or memorial or an airport. Make and fly homemade paper airplanes. Read about how Orville Wright was born on this day in 1871. Also celebrate Potato Day by eating potato products today: hashbrowns, French fries, baked potatoes, etc.

Monday, August 30 – National Toasted Marshmallow Day
Toast marshmallows over a fire pit, a gas stove, or a candle. See who can toast the perfect marshmallow.

Tuesday, August 31 – Alan Jay Lerner’s Birthday
Celebrate how Alan Jay Lerner was born on this day in 1918 in New York by watching My Fair Lady (Lerner composed the music!). Eat trail mix as a snack to celebrate National Trail Mix Day.

Cream Biscuit Recipe

2009-12-07T13:19:00.000-08:00

I tried this biscuit recipe this weekend and had to pass it on! I've been a Betty Crocker biscuit fan for a long time, but I think this is going to be my new favorite. These are really light and fluffy, and simpler than anything I've tried before. Are they more fattening than a recipe that uses Crisco and milk? I think it depends on the milk you usually use. I normally cook with fat free milk, so these cream biscuits are probably a little more fattening, but if you usually cook with milk that has fat these are probably about the same in fat content. Enjoy!

Cream Biscuits
Makes 8-10 biscuits

2 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting the surface
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/4 cups heavy cream (up to 1/4 c. more, if needed)

Preheat the oven to 425°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper (or foil). Sift two cups flour, the baking powder, and salt into a large bowl. Fold in 1 1/4 cups cream. If the dough is not soft or easily handled, fold in the remaining 1/4 cup cream, little by little.

Turn dough onto a floured surface and roll to a thickness of about 3/4 inch. Cut into rounds, 2 1/2 inches in diameter. Gather dough scraps and continue to make rounds. Bake until golden, 12 to 15 minutes. Serve immediately, or flash freeze for future use. [Biscuits can be baked straight from the freezer, and additional few minutes baking time will be needed, usually around 3 to 5.]

Peanut Butter Banana Bread

2009-09-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

I made this recipe on Monday. I replaced the butter with applesauce, and it still turned out great. I thought the peanut butter would be overwhelming. Although it smelled like a lot like peanut butter when it was baking, it only had a nice hint of peanut butter taste. It was also very filling--my husband loved that!

Eating Vegetables Never Tasted So Good!

2009-07-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

A Book Review of Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld.

I first heard of Deceptively Delicious a little over a year ago at a bridal shower where this book had been given as a gift. As the bride unveiled the charmingly classic cover, the room filled with shrieks of delight. “I hear that book is amazing,” one girl said. The bride obviously had heard the same and was very excited about the gift. I had not heard of the book at all, so when the unwrapping was all over I asked to take a look.

At first glance, vegetable purees, the “secret” method in Deceptively Delicious, looked like excessive work. But several months later, when I had some extra time on my hands, I remembered the book from the bridal shower and grew curious. Luckily, I found a copy from my library.

Before trying a single recipe, I leafed through Deceptively Delicious and read it nearly cover to cover. I was immediately impressed by Jessica’s upbeat approach to cooking and parenting. Overall, the abundant instruction and tips throughout the book are as encouraging and inventive as the recipes themselves are inviting. At the front of the book are basics in stocking and organizing a kitchen and instruction on making the vegetable purees. Although I was turned off by the idea of purees and how much prep-work they would involve, Jessica’s instructions were simple and easy to follow, and soon making purees became a fun game for both my husband and me.

All-in-all, my experience with Deceptively Delicious was a sincere success. I had to buy my own copy even before it was due at the library so I would not have to go a day without it! I have tried most of the recipes already and have not found a bad one yet. Surprisingly, the simplest ones have been the best. For myself, I have always been a big experimenter in the kitchen. Trying Jessica’s recipes has been a lot of fun, but I’ve found that mainly I take her puree suggestions and add them to the recipes I normally use for the things I usually eat, like my own French toast, muffins, scrambled eggs, banana bread, pancakes, coffee cake, oatmeal, meatballs, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, beef stew, pizza, macaroni and cheese, pasta, burgers, quesadillas, potato soup, grilled cheese sandwiches, baked potatoes, sloppy joes, tacos, and chili recipes (and she has even more suggestions than that!).

As far as the extra work involved with purees, making purees, following Jessica’s instructions, has taught me how to cook with many vegetables that I normally don’t use, like butternut squash and sweet potatoes. I loved Jessica’s idea of freezing purees. This allowed me to stock my freezer all at once. She recommends freezing portions in plastic bags according to what you need in your favorite recipes. I bypassed the guesswork by instead freezing purees in ice-trays. The average ice-tray section holds about 2 Tablespoons, or 1/8 Cup. I freeze the purees in ice trays, and then dump the frozen puree cubes into a labeled freezer bag. For me, it’s a lot easier to grab as many cubes as I need rather than fretting that I have to defrost a ½ Cup bag of puree when I only need ¼ Cup. Additionally, if you need it, making vegetable purees to cook with will also make you homemade baby food at the same time!

The one thing that I felt like the book was lacking was nutrition facts for the recipes, but the only recipe book I have that does that is Better Homes and Garden. There are pictures for most of the recipes, which I found very inviting and helpful.

Another author who uses vegetable purees in her recipes is Missy Lapine, the Sneaky Chef. I have looked over the Sneaky Chef books, and I really like them too. They are full of more great ideas about cooking healthy food. The design and enthusiastically optimistic tone of Deceptively Delicious were what appealed to me over the Sneaky Chef, but both authors have great contributions. Seinfeld’s book is more geared towards parenting, and Lapine has books for cooking for your husbands and cooking for kids. Seinfeld mostly uses vegetable purees, with a few other suggestions of healthier ingredients, while Lapine encourages the use of wheat flour, flax seed, and other healthy ingredients in addition to vegetables. The Sneaky Chef’s program involves make-ahead puree mixes of several vegetables a time. Deceptively Delicious’ puree suggestions are simpler, but Lapine has a much more helpful website and blog.

I get so excited about any new cooking technique that makes my meal healthier. Deceptively Delicious and the Sneaky Chef’s books have a big success for me and my family. Eating a Deceptively Delicious or Sneaky meal, or just adding one of its puree suggestions to a recipe I already regularly use, gives me a satisfied feeling. In the back of my mind, I’m saying to myself, “This tastes so good, and is way better for me than I think!”

The Local iPod Father

2009-03-23T08:33:00.000-07:00

My husband and I love hiking. We love getting away from the city—from paved roads, fast food corners, and the demands of work—and escaping to forests, mountains, and wilderness. Several months ago, we went on a small hiking trip in a beautiful forest in Washington. The drive to the trailhead was a precarious incline on wet gravel, but as soon as we got out of the car and started on the trail we were enveloped with rich, dense rainforest. The reverence of the forest around us was profoundly silencing. I felt a natural urge to step carefully and quietly so that nothing would interrupt my feeling of awe. I could hear the rain—not a patter on a windshield or windowpane, but a light tinkling over pine needles or a tiny thud as water trickled through the high canopy overhead and landed on a branch or tree trunk. In response to the comforting balm inherent to nature, sometimes my husband and I talked quietly about ideas and things that came to mind. Not heavy, worrisome thoughts, but organic ones that seemed to grow up and out of our minds and hearts.

Our refreshing tromp through the forest was interrupted only by scattered passersby on the trail. We saw people of all kinds. Some were couples like us, old and young, who were quiet. A brief nod was enough recognition for them before we both moved on without interrupting each others’ thoughts too much. Others were louder, like a group of college students or a large family with several reluctant teenagers.

There were two parties on the trail that day who really stuck out to me because they contrasted so much. On our way up the trail, early on we passed a group that seemed to be two families—two young couples who each had an infant strapped to one parent or the other. Three of the adults were talking about their kids as they headed down the trail. One father, however, hung behind the rest about five feet. He was listening to an iPod. I contrasted that image with another father I saw on the trail. We passed him on the way up and he passed us on the way down. His son, probably about eighteen months, sat high in a child carrier above his father’s shoulders. It was just the two of them. The dad was a little slower than us going up, but a very fast hiker on the way down. We passed them a third time, however, just a quarter of a mile from the trailhead when we were nearly finished. The father had taken his son out of the carrier and was taking a picture of him crossing a little stream.

What a difference. In both cases the children were too small to hold a very reasonable conversation, but the father with the carrier was giving an experience to himself and his son. To himself he gave rigorous exercise and the enjoyment of the outdoors. To his son he gave an invitation to love those things as well. What an experience for that little boy! The iPod father, however, didn’t give anything to himself or his son but neglect and a missed opportunity.

I don’t want to knock iPods or people who use them, but I’m ashamed of anytime that I’ve acted like the local iPod father—-to family members or friends—-by shutting myself, them, and everything else besides an electronic media toy out of my life. There are times when I’ve shut out enriching opportunities just by my attitude, even without a handheld device. I hope that stops. I hope I can remember what I felt during the quiet, reverent moments on the trail that day and never exchange an experience like that for an hour with an iPod.

Are We Not All Beggars? by Brian and Jennifer Ricks

2009-02-19T11:42:00.000-08:00

Honking horns and drumming rain on the windshield make it feel like just another drive through Seattle traffic. Suddenly, my wife points to a man standing at an intersection. I’ve never seen him before, but I flip on my emergency flashers and turn the wheel hard to the left. As the man steps towards me I wonder, “What’s going to happen this time?”

This routine started last summer when my wife and I moved to downtown Seattle for an internship. It didn’t take long to notice that between penthouse apartments and seafood restaurants there was a large population of homeless people. We wanted to help but didn’t feel comfortable handing money to every person asking for a donation. At the same time, we kept running across these words of King Benjamin in our family scripture study: “Ye will administer your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain” (Mosiah 4:16).

We resolved to prayerfully find a way to help those in need. After pondering the problem, we came up with the idea of “service bags.” We put non-perishable food items—such as crackers, meat jerky, granola bars, or natural fruit snacks—in brown paper lunch bags, which we kept in the car. Whenever we saw someone asking for help, we’d pull over and hand out a service bag.

After two summers of giving out service bags, we’re surprised by what we’ve learned:

• As far as we can tell, most beggars are not con artists or drug addicts who would turn down any donation except cash. Every person we have given a bag of food to has been extremely grateful. We’ve never had anything close to a negative response.

• We worried that pulling over in traffic would irritate other drivers. On the contrary, no one has ever honked or yelled when we stopped to give out a service bag.

• Seeing the plight of the destitute has made us more grateful, even when we are hungry on fast Sunday or think our apartment is small. It also has made us more willing to give a generous fast offering.

• Assisting strangers has made us feel more confident in contacting less-active families we home or visit teach. We also feel less nervous about discussing the gospel with nonmembers.

• We can’t help smiling after giving out a service bag.

Serving the needy has also given added meaning to these other verses from King Benjamin: “Are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have?” (Mosiah 4:19). Each of us is dependent upon the Lord for all of our needs and his blessings to us are manifestations of his mercy. King Benjamin continues, “And has he suffered that ye have begged in vain? Nay; he has poured out his Spirit upon you, and has caused that your hearts should be filled with joy” (Mosiah 4:20).

The man at the intersection looks surprised as he grabs the paper bag. A smile creeps across his face. “God bless,” he says softly, revealing a row of misshapen teeth. As we pull away we watch in the rearview mirror as he opens the granola bar, and we remember that we too must daily “trust in the mercy of the Lord” (Psalms 52:8), He who “hath filled the hungry with good things” (Luke 1:53).

Soft-Spoken Parenting

2009-02-13T10:58:00.000-08:00

Click here for a review of this book and a chance to win it!

Dad's Special Gifts

2008-12-11T16:14:00.000-08:00

“Would you like to go for a drive with me?” Dad asked.

I smiled before I turned around and answered, “Sure.” Making this request was the most humble I ever saw my dad. We had been through this routine for three years in a row, but I knew that this time would be the last. I handed my bowl of pie dough off to my little sister, grabbed my shoes, and went out to meet Dad on the driveway.

Dad headed the car towards the mall. Along the way we talked, but not too much. We talked about my life at college and my plans for the future, but sometimes he fell silent. I knew he was focusing on the task ahead of us.

During each of these yearly trips to the mall with Dad we went through every store that sold nice women’s clothes—every one. It was the only time I ever went to the really nice stores. Some stores would only take a minute or less—a quick walk-through and Dad would know that they didn’t have what he was looking for. In some stores we’d browse for a while. Sometimes he’d brush off the smiling sales ladies with the usual, “Thanks, but we’re just looking.” But in others he’d accept their help and take the time to describe how he was looking for something really wonderful. Sometimes he asked my advice about style, colors, or patterns, but other times he didn’t even hear the advice I volunteered because he was too focused on finding his special gift.

In the end, we always walked away from the mall with at least one plastic-covered hanger that hid Dad’s secret. Sometimes we came back with two or three hangers. Dad placed the loot carefully in the trunk, where it stayed until he snuck it into the living room late on Christmas Eve while Mom was getting ready for bed. Then, on Christmas morning, those plastic-covered department store hangers came into full view the moment Mom walked into the living room. She beamed at Dad, even before she opened them, and I think that smile made all the effort worth it for the both of us.

The last time I went Christmas shopping for my mom with Dad was the Christmas before I got engaged. I knew the engagement was coming and that we would be married within the year, so I also knew that it would be my last trip with Dad to find his special gift for Mom. I knew that the next year things would be different; my duties as consultant and companion to Dad on his special mission once a year would be passed to my younger sister. Imagining his request to her still warms my heart.

Maybe I’m not giving my dad enough credit, but I don’t think he engineered this activity as daddy-daughter bonding time to teach me how much he loved my mom on purpose. I think he just needed the company. It felt good that he wanted me for company, that he trusted me with his secrets and his desire to make Christmas special for his sweetheart. He didn’t do it on purpose, but Christmas shopping with Dad did teach me how much he loved my mom, and that knowledge helped me know, understand, and love Dad better.

Book Review: Alone But Not Lonely by Paul S. Brandt

2008-11-25T11:34:00.000-08:00

Alone But Not Lonely: Reaching for Hope and Love as a Single Latter-day Saint by Paul S. Brandt, LCSW. Printed in 2008 by Walnut Springs Press in Sandy, UT. ISBN 978-1-93521-700-8. 247 pages. Retail Price: $17.95.

We all have loved ones--family members and close friends--who are single and searching for someone to love for forever. The singles we know are in all types of situations. They may have been searching for a spouse for just a few years or many years. They may be divorced or have lost a spouse. It is because there is someone in each one of our families or close circle of friends with special family needs that Paul S. Brandt's book, Alone But Not Lonely, is such a wonderful addition to the library of LDS books of help and encouragement for singles.

Alone But Not Lonely covers all aspects of loneliness and the difficulties of being single, especially in an LDS context. Brandt defines loneliness and answers the deep questions that most singles have about acceptance, love, faith, and hope. After ten chapters of instruction, encouragement, exercises, doctrine, and Brandt's "Four Weeks to More Joy and Love" program, Alone But Not Lonely culminates with seven empathetic essays written by LDS singles in unique situations.

Alone But Not Lonely is full of instruction, encouragement, and ideas for change. Based on his qualifications as a social worker, psychotherapist, marriage and family therapist, renowned speaker, and latter-day saint, Brandt is able to addresses the unique challenges of LDS singles in an encouraging, informative, understanding, and doctrinal-based way. Furthermore, in Alone But Not Lonely, Brandt is able to talk to his readers not as a therapist, a bishop, a father, or even a friend, but almost as if he were the voice of the readers themselves, reminding them what they believe, what hope there is to cling to, how to keep going day by day to find joy, and what they can change.

There is something powerful in a book like Alone But Not Lonely when its only weakness is that its page headers don't identify what chapter you're in. Paul Brandt's Alone But Not Lonely is an amazing find for anyone struggling with loneliness and the discouragements of being single.

Book Review: Wisdom of the Prophets—Temple Worship, The Perfect Gift

2008-10-18T12:35:00.000-07:00

Wisdom of the Prophets: Temple Worship, design by Andy Goddard, printed by Leatherwood Press, 2006. Retail price: $14.95. ISBN: 978-1-59992-008-5.

Wisdom of the Prophets: Temple Worship is a beautiful, inspiring, and inviting gift book. The design of the book is so appealing that I wish it were available in a larger coffee-table sized version. The quotations throughout the beautiful pages are not just by modern prophets, also modern apostles and quotations from the Doctrine and Covenants. The photographs throughout the book are wonderful, but I wish there were more temples and less just generic nature pictures. I also wish I knew who took the photographs. Overall, the beauty of the book and inspiring selection of quotes makes Wisdom of the Prophets: Temple Worship the perfect gift for pretty much anybody—yourself, a spouse, parents, siblings, newlyweds, children, current and prospective missionaries, and nonmember friends and family.

Family Freedom Day: My Parent's Financial Legacy, by Brian Ricks

2008-10-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

"We encourage you wherever you may live in the world to prepare for adversity by looking to the condition of your finances. We urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt. . . . If you have paid your debts and have a financial reserve, even though it be small, you and your family will feel more secure and enjoy greater peace in your hearts."
—The First Presidency, All Is Safely Gathered In: Family Finances, Feb. 2007, 1 .

In the late 1980s, my parents had a comfortable home and my father had a high-paying job as a corporate attorney. Even though their life was very stable, my parents felt inspired that they should follow the prophet’s counsel to get out of debt and immediately pay off their modest mortgage. In order to reach this significant goal, everyone in the family had to sacrifice; we went on fewer and less-expensive vacations, cooked more meals at home instead of eating out, and found creative ways to patch our clothes instead of buying new ones. Through these lifestyle changes, and help from the Lord, my parents were able to pay off their mortgage in half the time that they had thought possible.

Not long afterwards, we understood why it was so important for us to follow the prophet’s counsel to get out of debt. My father lost his job and my youngest brother was hospitalized. Neither of these problems had quick solutions. A local employment slump meant my father did not find another job for several years. My brother remained in the hospital for almost a full year. My parents' decision to pay off our debts proved to be a double blessing. First, in a period of financial struggle, my parents no longer had to deal with a mortgage payment. Second, our family had learned a lifestyle of frugality that would last for a long time.

To commemorate the blessings of the Lord, my parents decided to celebrate a family holiday called “Freedom Day.” Every year on the anniversary of becoming a debt-free family, we celebrate by playing games and having a special meal. My parents take this opportunity to recount the story of how they felt inspired to immediately heed the prophet’s counsel, how the Lord blessed them in their efforts to pay off their mortgage, and how being debt-free blessed them in the economically turbulent decades that followed.

Through this simple family holiday, my parents found a way to teach their children how to heed the words of the prophets and live the principle of frugality. Even though all of us children are now grown up, my parents still call on "Freedom Day" to discuss the events which this family holiday commemorates. Now that I am an adult, I realize that our Family Freedom Day was also how my parents showed consistent gratitude to the Lord for the miracles, temporal and spiritual, he has worked in their lives. As all of us children are now in a period in our lives where debt can be very tempting, my parents' reminder and legacy of fiscal principles has been a major blessing, and I look forward to when I can celebrate a Family Freedom Day with my own family.

Protect Marriage: Support Prop 8

2008-10-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

Sergey Brin, the President of Google, has publicly announced Google's opposition to Prop 8, which will protect the traditional definition of marriage as between a man and a woman.

While Google has a right to voice their opinion, their opposition to Prop 8 makes me not want to use their services. A ban on Google seems a little inconceivable, but people will write letters supporting Prop 8 to Google we could show that Google doesn't speak for all the people in our Nation.

By clicking on this link, you can send a message to Google giving your support to Prop 8.

Writing a quick message to let Google know that we support Prop 8 and marriage between a man and a woman will only take a few minutes. If you're also willing to go the second mile, you can also write a mailed letter to Google's headquarters address:

Google
1600 Amphitheatre Parkway
Mountain View, CA 94043

If Google can take a stand against this important issue, we can certainly band together and take a stand for it.

Please send your message to Google and then forward this information to any friends who are willing to support Prop 8.

Here is my message to Google:

Dear Google,

I just want to let you know that I disagree with your position on Prop 8. While you're entitled to your opinion, I would appreciate it if you would let Google users know that not everyone agrees with you.
I understood what President Brin said about the government encroaching on people's personal lives, but on this issue I disagree.
The Declaration of Independence says that it is the duty of the Government to protect the "unalienable Rights" of the "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" of its people. Undermining the traditional definition of marriage as between a man and a woman infringes on the rights of those who support this view. Your counterargument, I assume, would be that passing Prop 8 and rejecting homosexual marriages is an infringement on the right to "the pursuit of Happiness" for homosexuals. You may believe this, but again I disagree.

I feel that a key part of this passage in the Declaration of Independence is that these rights were endowed to "all men" "by their Creator." I believe in God and I believe in right and wrong. It is clear throughout the Bible, in both the Old and New Testaments, that homosexuality is against God's law. It is He who gave us these basic rights, and thus what rights we grant to one another should follow his laws.

I realize that you may not believe in the values or theology that I espouse, but I just want you to know that I disagree and I would appreciate it if your users could understand that not everyone in this nation agrees with your stance on Prop 8.

Thank you,

Jennifer Ricks

Make the Most of General Conference for Your Family

2008-09-23T11:57:00.001-07:00

My experience and attitude towards General Conference has changed as I’ve grown up. When I was a young child, my parents asked my siblings and me to dedicate ourselves to watching at least one session of General Conference each day—both Saturday and Sunday. I remember that we’d ban together and plan out whether to sacrifice our Saturday morning or afternoon depending on what other activities—bike riding, swimming, or street games—were calling and when. On Sunday, we only had to stay in the living room for one session, but the rest of the day we could do quiet inside things—like coloring, reading, drawing, and board games—to keep the Sabbath Day holy even though we didn’t go to the church house on General Conference Sunday.

I can distinctly remember when I was about six or seven when I asked my mother if it was hard to be a grown-up because grown-ups had to sit still for both sessions on both days. My mother smiled and explained to me that it wasn’t hard because she and Dad enjoyed watching General Conference; it wasn’t a chore to them. I puzzled over what she said for quite some time. I remembered it for several more General Conference seasons and I noticed that it was true—she and Dad were always riveted to the television and listened carefully to every talk. They didn’t need coloring books or basic embroidery kits to keep them quiet and entertained; they just listened.

My parents’ interest in General Conference fascinated me. Several years later, when my attention span was finally long enough, I remember the first General Conference Saturday afternoon when I decided to stay in from play and see if I would like watching General Conference like my mother. Even though I was still too young to understand everything in the session, I remember a good feeling flowed into my heart. I knew that feeling came because I did something good even though I didn’t have to—because I did something good because I wanted to.

Now I’m a grown-up too. I am happy that I’m like my mother—that I look forward to General Conference and sincerely want to pay good attention to all sessions. But even now there are often outside distractions that compete for my attention on General Conference weekend and may even keep me from continual study of the Conference report afterward. The following ten tips have helped me make the most of General Conference for myself and my family.

1. Plan Ahead
General Conference is always the first weekend in October and April, but if, you’re like me, if you don’t plan carefully ahead then you’ll forget and schedule something else that Saturday. Carefully mark your family calendar so that everyone can plan to be free to fully participate in General Conference. Planning ahead will save you the stress of rescheduling conflicting events later.

2. Preparatory Family Home Evening
The Monday night before General Conference, present a special Family Home Evening lesson about General Conference. Discuss the importance of modern-day prophets and why we have General Conference. Help family members remember and understand the importance of continued revelation and that the General Authorities are receiving specific revelation for us and for our day. Encourage each individual to prepare themselves spiritually to receive revelation during General Conference by writing questions in their journals and praying for answers. In family prayer, ask for Heavenly Father to help family members to prepare to receive answers and revelation to uplift them in their trials. Also pray for the speakers of the Conference, even several weeks before General Conference, that they can have the Spirit guide them as they prepare talks.

3. Women’s Evening
Encourage the women in your home to attend the General Relief Society and/or General Young Women’s meeting the week before General Conference. Make it a special time for women to receive instruction from the prophet and spend time together as well as a special time for the men in the home to support women’s Church activities.

4. Participate in the Sessions
Listen to or watch every session of General Conference. Encourage family members to take notes and write down personal thoughts on the talks in a personal scripture study journal.

5. Priesthood Session
Encourage the priesthood holders in your home to attend Priesthood session. If there are non-priesthood holding boys or men in your home, spend the time during Priesthood session teaching them about the priesthood to prepare them for that important responsibility.

6. Use Online Resources
If any family members miss a session of General Conference due to scheduling conflicts, record the session to watch later or download the video or audio file from lds.org. Make sure that any family member who missed a session has someone to watch the make-up session with.

7. Continuing Study
Get a copy of the Conference Ensign for every member of the family. Encourage each family member to highlight or underline their copy, write notes in the margins, look up the scriptures cited in the talks, and use the Conference talks as an opportunity for individual study, reflection, and meditation.

8. Family Scripture Study
Read the Conference Ensign aloud as a family as part of daily family scripture study. Invite family members to share insights from their personal study of the conference talks with the rest of the family during family scripture study. Display the pictures of the speakers in the Ensign during the lesson so young children can learn to recognize the General Authorities.

9. Continued Family Discussion
Help family members recognize quotes from the recent Conference talks in Sacrament Meeting talks. Discuss how the speakers did or could have used the talks you are studying as a family.

10. Ongoing Resources
Use video clips and quotes of recent Conference talks to supplement Family Home Evening, Sunday School, Young Men, Young Women, Priesthood, and Relief Society lessons. Remind participants that you’re referring to the most recent General Conference to inspire them to continue to study and treasure the words of the living prophets.

By preparing for General Conference, taking time for it when it comes, and continuing to use Conference addresses for the months afterward, each General Conference can become a bi-annual uplift and enrichment to our homes and to each of us personally. After implementing these ideas, keep looking for ways to let General Conference spiritually rejuvenate you and your family as much as possible. Through your example, you can help other family members learn for themselves the blessings of following our modern-day prophets as you and your family learn to appreciate, love, and look forward to General Conference.

Our Family Journal

2008-09-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

It was almost a year ago when my husband and I took some advice and guidance from general conference and applied it to our family. I never thought that a General Conference talk could still impact my life this much a year later. As the first talk in the Sunday Morning session of the October 2007 General Conference of the Church, President Eyring taught the members of the Church by example “to find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness” (Ensign, Nov. 2007, 67). As President Eyring related to us the account of his first inspiration to begin keeping a family journal and how keeping the family journal was a daily blessing for him as he “became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers” and “felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that [came] because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ,” President Eyring also shared that that his family journal has since been a blessing years later to his sons as “reading of what happened long ago helped [them] notice something God had done in [their] day.”

After hearing President Eyring’s talk, I knew that this was the perfect use for a wedding gift that had been dormant for months. One of my former Young Women’s advisors had given us a beautiful wedding gift: a leather-bound journal with gold-edged pages and an artistically textured cover. She also pasted our wedding announcement in the inside cover of the book to make it especially ours. I knew that such a wonderful gift deserved a wonderful purpose and all summer I had been brainstorming how we could use the journal and put the gift to good use. I toyed with a lot of ideas in my mind, but nothing ever stuck or gave me enough motivation to begin writing in the journal. The summer ended and we were well into autumn before the answer of what to do with the beautiful journal came where I least expected it, in President Eyring’s talk.

After General Conference, my husband and I prayerfully decided that we should follow President Eyring’s example and use our wedding gift to start our own family journal. While President Eyring used his family journal to write down “evidence of what God had done” for his family each day, we decided that we needed to use our family journal to write down a moment when we were happy each day. Every night we take turns and each write a sentence or two in our family journal about a happy event that day. We have found that by writing in our family journal we have been more grateful for the many blessings that Heavenly Father gives us each day. As we approach General Conference this year, I’m excited to have a year’s worth of entries in our family journal. Soon I’ll be able to look back and see what blessings had come into our lives exactly a year ago. This exercise has been important in motivating us to keep important family records and has helped us draw closer as a family as we seek to recognize the daily blessings that the Lord gives to us.

In beginning a family journal of your own, you could do as President Eyring did and ask: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” Or, you could personalize the idea of a family journal and prayerfully adapt it to your own family’s needs. This could mean a happiness journal, a gratitude journal, a journal of family spiritual experiences, or a blessings journal. As you seek his inspiration, the Lord will bless you with promptings of how you can better keep baptismal covenants as a family to always remember him. President Eyring has promised us that as we “will find a way to preserve [memories of God’s messages] for the day that [we], and those that [we] love, will need to remember how much God loves us how much we need Him,” these memories “will soften [our] hearts to allow the Holy Ghost to testify to [us].”